Beetle Brook

April

Apr. 16, 2021

There's a ghost that lives in my head
His eyes are the colour of lead
At night he floats around,
Making an awful ghoulish sound
The noise fills my ears and keeps me up at night
//
Ther's a ghost that haunts my life
Cutting up my thoughts and words like a knife
He wears this patchy sheet
I think it used to be white
But it's faded to the colour of dried wheat
//
There's a ghost that spends his days in my room
Most of the time he's looking up at the moon
I don't know where he's from or when he came
But he likes you the most
I think it's because you have a ghost
In your mind that is much the same
//
When did our heads become a graveyard for the undead



May

May 05, 2021

my body is a temple
but the god it was made for is gone
its been overrun by mice and bugs
//
my body is a home
but the foundation is cracking
its haunted both by the living and the dead
//
my body is a church
a place of worship
but the priest was killed
//
my body is a temple
so why does it feel like a prison?

May 22, 2021

I was made from wood and clay,
A figure of scraps and ugly pieces.
Shaped by rough and callused fingers.
Broken over and over again by soft, perfect hands
For not being beautiful enough.
But I’ve rebuilt every time,
Each time a bit more fragile than the last.
Teach me what kindness is supposed to feel like,
Make me new again with porcelain and silk.
Fix me and get rid of the dirt and sickness that covers my skin.
Form me a new heart of love and moonlight.

May 28, 2021

The monsters and demons you see at night aren’t here for you
They do not prey on those that are afraid
They serve to protect the meek, the tired and those that cannot defend themselves
The dark is exists so you may hide, it watches over you and keeps you safe
The ghosts and shadows kill those that are the source of your sadness and tears
Victors write history, so maybe that’s why we call the creatures of the dark monsters
Those we call angels, heroes, are the ones you should avoid and fear
For they are the ones that poison the land they touch

Sept. 27, 2021

you are not made up of the future
you are made up of the present and bits and pieces of memories and happiness
so eat that slice of cake, wear that outfit, cut your hair, use that bath bomb
don't deny yourself the simple pleasures of life because you don't think it's "the right time"
your future self will thank you for taking care of yourself



October

Oct. 06, 2021

I'll devote my life to you, your glass heart shall never shatter
As long as I am here I will hold you in my arms
I'll build you a million churches, a thousand shrines
You will be religion, my lover
No one will ever do you any harm
I'll buy you the softest silks and the finest wines
I'll teach you to paint, to love, to trust, to sing, to weave
And I want you to know
That if you ever want to leave
I will let you go

Oct. 06, 2021

Don't call me evil,
For not being able to love
You were never my prince charming
Was I not your perfect little dove?
You are worse than the devil
Was I too hard to kill?
And now the buzzards are swarming
And now I haunt your mind as a hellish ghost
Isn't it such a shame that you were never in my will
I know that my mother cried the most
I know that you feel no remorse
And so I will make them all see
What you did
And how horrible you can be
And of the pain and anguish you shall never be rid

Oct. 07, 2021

A shadow of a kiss,
You were a person made so holy
And yet a soul ever so lonely
Tears of mourning turn to blood,
A favourite blanket tearing at the seams
A tired aching to be loved
Only the moon seeing the ways your eyes gleam
A tragic story of death,
A haunting lullaby as soft as a final breath

Oct. 10, 2021

I know that you did all you could
And so did I
But it would be a lie,
If I said that you did all that you should
How could a bedtime story turn so tragic?
Our scars were never something that could be fixed by magic
//
I know you tried your best,
And I know that I should have done better
But for now let's just take a rest
I still love you, and we can't blame ourselves for fruit turning bitter
//
I can't blame you for our bittersweet past
But I can't pretend I'm not hurt by it,
And I can't say that I will ever forgive you
Now I feel safe at long last
So won't you come with me and just sit?
And stare at the stars while we watch the world pass through

Oct. 12, 2021

do you think that when our sun or planet is destroyed and we have to move to another one, do you think we will be homesick? missing our planet and our sun, our solar system and our stars?

Oct. 13, 2021

I'm sorry for not being able to love you more
I'm sorry for my pain
I will do my best
I will love as much as I can
I'm trying my best to get better, I promise
Just please take care of you while I'm gone
I'll be home soon, I just have to go a while

Oct. 13, 2021

I want to kill someone
But like I want to make him cry before I do
Wipe that smug look off his face
I want to make him feel my pain
I want to make him suffer
I want to see that look on his face when he realises that he is never going to be able to achieve his fucking dreams, he didn't tell his family he loves them
I want him to beg and beg, I want his death to be horrible and long and I want his face to be frozen in fear as I beat him to death
I want to stab him and wash my hands in his blood while he's still alive
Maybe I'll let him live, but he'll be broken, unable to say anything, I want him to know that I am watching him and I will not hesitate to hurt him even more
I want to tie him up and let out all my anger onto him until he dies of old age
I want to be kind and warm to him some days and bake him cakes and cookies
And the next I'd slice up his legs and carve hearts into his arm

Oct. 17, 2021

Look upon my face,
And understand that you are worthy and cherished
When you finally can look at yourself in the mirror,
All you need to know is written on your arms and chest
Memorise the stars you find in your eyes and limbs
Your sight is not permanent
And neither is the skin on your tired bones

Oct. 17, 2021

Look me in the eyes and tell me their sorrow is worthless
You pray to your god knowing that He created your hell
You cannot kill me, you could not live with the weight of being a killer
So get up on that stage and preach as you fool the masses
But be not surprised when you are dragged back by my sharp hands,
My hands.
Your god is real, He is warm and loving and kind.
He is repulsed by you
Rest your voice as you gaze upon your sins
Your filthy hands taint everything they touch
You will never be known

Oct. 22, 2021

Know the anger that is welling and boiling and burning under my skin
A tiny, vunerable child bathed in red light
Hands reaching out as if they still hold fondness for each other
And yet both knowing that the anger and rage and pain overshadows it
Hunger and madness of the wolves that roam outside my home
I am not an evil person
I am a child driven to madness. A child that is hungry and tired and running on fumes
The world is ending and there is nothing else to do other than be angry and try to fight for your last shred of humanity
We are not any better than the devil
We are already dead and yet we need to kill to survive
We will bare our teeth and laugh and feel no remorse as we see the world go down in our flames

Oct. 25, 2021

Every day I come home
I see the steps, the fallen leaves, my dog, my desk
But most of all, the garden
It's not the prettiest thing, with faded dark greens and sickly reds,
Weeds seem to live there permantently
But we still try to manage it
My favourite is the elephant ears, huge and vibrant green beauties
But of course, as is with all things, they wild and die in the winter
It starts off small, some tiny leaves fading off into the earth
But as the days get colder and my skin starts to crack
You see the leaves turn to dirt and the stems rotting away
And my love freezes over, turning my heart to stone
It's sad, I think
I'm not too sure but that's what others say
I don't mind it much, it's simply a part of growth
Going back and having some progress decay,
After all, the roots will stay no matter the season
Soon, too soon some think, spring shall come again
And with it the lush greens and delicate flowers will be born again
But my love won't be restored, simply refusing to thaw
Leaving the pain of winter and regret behind like a snow-kissed wind